Alux Apologizes

He was dimly aware of his own wakefulness, in much the way as one who finds himself awake for no reason after too little sleep. He forced his eyes open and could not see. Panic began to set in. He fumbled at his surroundings. The ground was stone, the air cool. He was prone, upon his back, with little strength. His armor felt heavier than it ever had, his sword was not nearby. He began to hyperventilate.


With effort, he slowly brought his breathing under control. The last thing he did before he found himself this way? He was reaching out, there was heat and brightness the likes of which he had never known. The Sun. Yes, he was trying to tap into the power of the Sun, he was seeking the power needed to defeat the god of death, Rannak the Plague-Handed. Alux focused his consciousness inward, and was relieved to find his divinity intact. But now something else abided within him, something that was not a part of him.


Alux tried to rise, and found himself far too weak. He slumped back to the ground, having only pulled his shoulders up by mere inches. Panic again began to grasp at him. Who would lead the other gods? Who would fight against the foul one? He fought to rise. For all his thoughts of desperation, of the need for him upon the field of battle, he could not rise, and continued effort served only to weaken him. All would be lost. The Chlua, the Meccal, the people of the desert, the Northerners, the Easterners, the people of the River Sea... Yes, even those that remained of the ancient empire he had long ago smote. His brothers, his sisters, his creator's legacy; all would end. He had failed.


For many long moments his thoughts lashed about, desperately seeking some way to salvage this misfortune, to find victory. And the alien other thing that abided within fed on him, made him slowly weaker and weaker. He would end before any of the others. He looked back upon the long eons of his existence, and for the first time saw errors. Wrongs he had done that he could not right. Alux prided himself on his sense of justice, yet the great injustice of his own arrogance was now beyond his ability to correct. He despaired. He had always looked down on Galia, had always treated Ulan like a servant, Auren as if she were his shield maiden, disdained Breth as cowardly, belittled Grenda's love of the wild as undisciplined, and taken Meddian's support for granted. Galia had long since not only been lost to him, but also surpassed him. Ulan had tired of his domineering ways and struck out on his own. Auren? Hopefully she was rallying the fight without him, she had more pressing things to do than help him. Breth? Breth was doing more to protect those that could not protect themselves than he ever had. Grenda had... What? Died? Fled? She said she had a plan, but never told him what it was. Meddian? Ever a friend to all of them. He was not worthy of her aid either, but he reached within himself and called out for her all the same. There was long silence.


A graceful foot, clad in a black satin slipper, touched upon the stone. Her feminine form, wrapped in the flowing layers of her black dress, coalesced. Her hair was a dark mane peppered with twinkling motes to match the night sky, her face a pale echo of the moon's silvery luminance. “Brother!” She rushed to Alux, dropping to her knees beside him. She took his right hand in hers, put her other hand upon his face, and her dark eyes looked into his now pale and unseeing golden eyes. “Are you all right? What happened?”


Alux was pained at the panic in her voice. “I'm sorry, sister. I have wounded myself, it seems.”


“What happened?” Her voice was gentle, as always. Soothing. Had he never told her that she was the most beautiful of Amon's children?


“I reached for the Sun, I had hoped I could use its power to banish the dark one. I have failed, it has blinded me. And now, I believe I am dieing.” He could not bring himself to lie to her, even to comfort her.


She ran her hand down his face, past his chest, her fingertips gently brushing his armor, hovering over his abdomen. She closed her eyes, tried to feel his injuries, needed to learn how he was hurt, needed to know how to save him. “There is... Something else there, within you, brother.” She opened her eyes and gripped his hand tightly, “You have something of the Sun within you. But even a god is not the equal of the Sun, it is trying to live, it is slowly devouring you. It is beyond me, brother. You need more help. I will call Breth, if he cannot...”


“No,” he cut her off. Though his voice was weak, it was still commanding. “None of us is strong enough. I will not have Breth abandon those who need his protection just so he can watch me die. Just... Go to them, and tell them that I'm sorry. That I should never have done this without saying anything, you all deserved to know. I'm sorry that I've taken all of you for granted, that I've, AH!” A sudden spasm of pain wracked him, as if bits from all over his insides were sucked away.


“Shhhh, it will be all right,” Meddian pulled his head and shoulders into her lap. She wiped a thin sheen of sweat from his brow. “You will tell them yourself.” She smiled gently, though he could not see it. She sent a solitary plea to one of the others.


“I'll not last so long, and they've more pressing concerns than my end.”


And so they sat together, in silence, for long moments.


There was a slight clink of metal on stone as an armored booted touched the ground. Alux felt the presence of this new arrival. It was filled with disdain and anger; it was familiar, and stronger than ever.


Meddian's voice cracked with trepidation. “It is good to see you again, sister.”


“You called me here for... This?” A stern female voice that verily spat the last word out. “You said you needed my help, sister. You don't need my help. He does. And he's not getting it.”


“Please, sister, he will not,” Meddina's voice caught in her throat, she had always idolized her eldest brother. “He will not last, sister. Please?”


“No.” She turned to leave.


“Galia?” Alux fought to speak, he was so weak now. “Wait, please, sister?”


Galia stopped. She looked over her shoulder, “I'll not stand about and listen to you bark orders at me. I've grown far beyond you.”


“I know. And you were right.”


Galia turned. She brushed a stray lock of her limp, red hair aside with a gauntleted hand. “About?”


“About me,” At least he could try to make some kind of peace with Galia. “I was full of myself. I was haughty, arrogant. I was the favored son. I abused that. I wanted to be like father. I treated my brothers and sisters like children. And I treated you as a burden, at best. I was wrong. I should have, should have told father that how he treated you was wrong. And when I saw you last, I should have been forgiving, should have understood, but I was trying to be like father. And I made his mistakes all over again.”


Meddian held to him in fear. She had seen mortals make speeches like this hundreds of times. Always followed by their end. Galia simply cocked an eyebrow, “Go on.”


Alux winced, as much at the physical pain of his ordeal as at throwing his over-valued pride away. “I thought it was up to me. I didn't trust my brothers and sisters, and that was wrong of me. It had to be me that defeated Rannak, but I wasn't strong enough. So I reached for the Sun, and it has burned out my eyes, and the rest of me will soon follow.”


“That explains the past three days of darkness.”


“What?” Alux's voice was barely above a whisper, his jaw hung slack.


“I didn't want to tell you,” Meddian was plaintive, “I thought we would make it right, even if we couldn't... couldn't save you.” She whispered the last. She looked to Galia, “Please, Galia? Help him?”


“He does not deserve my help.”


“Galia, please,” Alux was desperate, it was about so much more than him, now. “Something of the Sun is within me, it is what's killing me. You have to restore it, without the light the Plague-Handed cannot be stopped.”


“You are right, for once,” There was the crunch of small stones, the clank of armor, and the creaking of leather as she strode forward, stopping at Alux's feet. She looked down upon him, as he had always done to her. “Tell me, though, why I should help?”


“Because it is not just to punish the world for my mistakes. I'm begging you, Galia.”


She knelt beside him. “You? Begging? I'm surprised,” Her voice held no joy. Galia placed a hand over his stomach and closed her eyes in concentration. “This will most likely kill you, Alux, regardless of what I do.”


“I know. Galia, I know I have no right to ask a favor of you, but...”


“But you will anyway. I'll not tell the others that you are sorry, or carry any confessions for you.”


“... The others miss you, Galia. They don't say it, and they probably don't know how to talk to you now. But, please, give them a chance.” Galia paused at this. She looked into Meddian's eyes, and her sister smiled through her tears and nodded.


Some hours later, Meddian and Galia sat together bathed in the light of the setting Sun, Alux still cradled upon Meddian's lap. Galia's face was covered in a grayish mask of sweat and soot, weariness plain. Meddian looked upon her younger sister in awe as she tore her half-melted gauntlets off and tossed them aside. Galia placed her hands upon her thighs and sighed heavily, “It's done.”


Meddian reached out to Galia and pulled her close, hugging her for the first time in over a millennium. Galia sat limp in the embrace, still exhausted from rekindling the Sun. Meddian wept openly as she held Galia. “I love you, sister.” Galia winced her eyes shut at her sister's words. Thousands of years of pain threatened to spill out of her eyes as water. She held them all back. She had not wept since the day she killed their father. She would never allow herself to weep again.


“I love you, too,” she whispered.


And so they sat as the Sun sank below the horizon. It was mostly dark when Galia broke their embrace and stood. She began to walk off, but stopped at a sudden clatter of metal at her feet. She bent down, and rose with Alux's sword in hand. She made a couple of experimental swings with it, and ran a finger over its edge to test the sharpness. “It's a good blade.” She walked back over to her sister and laid the weapon upon Alux's chest. “His eyes will never see again, but he may want this when he wakes all the same.” She turned to Meddian, “When he comes to, you tell our brother that I was never here. You don't know anything about me being here today, either.” Galia walked away, but before she disappeared back to whatever unknown place she called home, she looked over her shoulder and stated, “And I did not refer to him as 'brother'.” Meddian smiled.